Fresh Statuses

I need something that's more than coffee but less than cocaine.
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.
If my mother in law had her own music genre it would be heavy meddle.
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
Top Users
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