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Dave Asten
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.
I woke up screaming this morning. Then I had to apologize to everyone in the staff meeting.
Sorry. I'm just now seeing your text from last night. Do you still need that EpiPen?
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands. For instance, if they are holding a gun she's probably angry.
Bacon: low-carb and gluten-free. I think I just found the staple to my next diet.
Tattoo artists should have built-in spell check.
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t