Fresh Statuses

I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I'm still in a party mode from Saturday night.
My life is so dull and boring, when my identity was was returned back to me!
Rabbits always seem to be running or still as a statue. You never see a rabbit casually strolling.
Anger is a valuable tool. Little has done more to change this world for the better than someone who is pissed off at the way things are.
I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyways?
If your name exceeds four syllables, I’m gonna just call you “hey”
It's been an exhausting day of pretending I'm a pleasant person.
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