Fresh Statuses

Pet stores should post "Chameleon" on empty reptile cages just to see how long people would stand and look.
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
More people should be at a loss for words.
I don't like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
Shaving your head is the "You can't fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.
I ate a shepherd's pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
I don't care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I'm more annoyed that random woodland creatures won't clean my house.
You've got to love yourself. Just not in public places...
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