Fresh Statuses

I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard.
"Lmao" - a French cat
#16675
Xyuppi
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection's map for gas money is reaching a new low.
#16674
Xyuppi
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
#16673
Xyuppi
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
#16672
Xyuppi
Not to brag or anything, but I don't need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I'm ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
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