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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Dave Asten
Michael Mendoza
They keep asking me when my birthday is at the pharmacy. I think they're going to get me something!
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
I'm really tired after participating in the 5 centimeter charity run for ADHD.
Facebook game requests are like Herpes: They never go away no matter how much you want them to.
Bread bowls: The waffle cone of the soup world.