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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Cyberbilly
Leron Tonge
goldin
IM A MOE LESTER
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"If life is supposed to flash in front of your eyes before you die, will Roger Ebert just see a bunch of movie clips?"
"No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook."
"If some one had really invented a time machine in the future, we'd know by now.."
"I opened up a bottle of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed."
"If a wheelchair athlete used WD-40, would it be considered a performance enhancing substance?"
"If corn oil is made from corn...what is baby oil made from?"
"I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!"
"Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing it for years..."
"OK. So I danced like no one was watching. My Court date is pending."
"I cut my finger when changing the spark plugs on my car. This proves that it *is* possible to get blood out of a tune-up."