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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Robert Zunick
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
Roses are red Violets are blue Bad boys bad boys Whatchagonnadoo
"Don’t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
Axe body spray is like the mosquito repellent for humans
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who's accent is so thick you can't understand them?