Funny statuses

#2895

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.

#3016

I say "do I smell popcorn" right after I fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.

#3091

I just watched my neighbor's dog chase its tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, "Wow dogs are easily entertained" Then I realized, I just watched my neighbor's dog chase its tail for 10 minutes...

#2931

Look officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too.

#3070

I used to think air was free. Then I bought a bag of potato chips...

#3001

Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.

#3189

When I die, I'd like someone to keep updating my Facebook for me just to freak people out. Things like, "hey, who knew they had wifi up here?"

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Funny Facebook Statuses