Insightful statuses

#3410

Being in the Friend Zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling regularly, bitching about the person they hired.

#3411

If vampires can't see themselves in mirrors, how do they trim those perfect goatees?

#3412

I've just been accused of being 'a plagiarist'! Their words, not mine.

#3413

Cyberbilly

It's funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my evenings in the front yard treating it with weed killer.

#3414

I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything

#3415

I want to start a band called "Day Job" so that when we play and people say "don't quit your day job" I'll be like "thanks we practice a lot".

#3416

I never hear from most of my High School classmates unless their email account gets hacked.

Post Randomonium

Funny Facebook Statuses