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#98
♥ I love you so drunk that nothing and no one can separate while you do not let. ♥
Funny - 61
Insightful - 33
WTF? - 463
GTFO! - 149
#224
It's gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper's bikini when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it.
Funny - 218
Insightful - 51
WTF? - 589
GTFO! - 268
#352
I bet Lee Harvey Oswald always remembered where he was when Kennedy was shot.
Funny - 93
Insightful - 27
WTF? - 438
GTFO! - 147
#197
how does one whole side of a town smell like garlic??
Funny - 51
Insightful - 24
WTF? - 384
GTFO! - 109
#308
Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals....
Funny - 1081
Insightful - 115
WTF? - 565
GTFO! - 230
#258
You can't win a marathon without wearing Band-Aids on your nipples.
Funny - 135
Insightful - 66
WTF? - 354
GTFO! - 93
#113
My Words With Friends game w/my mom always pops up when I'm 'mobile-masturbating.' It's like she knows??
Funny - 86
Insightful - 22
WTF? - 285
GTFO! - 123
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