WTF statuses

#3497

Cyberbilly

Dear Microsoft: If you had called your search engine Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. What would you rather say? "I just Googled Catherine Zeta Jones" or "I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones"?

#3492

My local news station just announced that they fired their lead anchor. Apparently he was really weighing down the show.

#3493

Cyberbilly

To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn't easy.

#3494

But your honor, he said 'till death do us part. What was I supposed to do? Wait for natural causes to take him?

#3490

Don't mistake my middle finger as an offer.

#3491

Monday: A terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life.

#3527

I'm at Walmart. I'm not buying anything, I just needed a reminder that there are bigger disasters than me.

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