Florida
Not saying I’m old, but… When I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas
People think I’m good at keeping secrets but the truth is I’m just bad at paying attention to what you told me.
Kristian Alekov
White Claw tastes like you are drinking TV static while someone screams the name of a fruit from another room.
Helium addiction is horrible because no one takes your cries for help seriously.
If the Paleo diet is so good then why did the Flintstones need vitamins?
I joined an Amish support group, but I fell off the wagon.
Kristian Alekov
Sometimes I think I'm reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness