Fresh Statuses

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what’s inside.
I wonder if Auto Correct and Spell Check get together behind our backs and talk about what idiots we are.
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
My least favorite part of working customer service is "customer."
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