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Fresh Nominations...
Dave Asten
Robert Zunick
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
Who wants to learn Roman numerals? I for one.
I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
It's almost "It's not even Thanksgiving yet and they're already decorating for Christmas!" season.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I'll kill you all.