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Fresh Nominations...
Dave Asten
Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
My alarm clock stopped working, so I'll be setting the microwave for 8 hours while I sleep on the kitchen floor.
Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I'd probably choke it.
Do you, take Ted the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.