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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Fresh Nominations...
Cyberbilly
Amigo
Dave Asten
Cris
Michael Mendoza
At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music
I’m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy…
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE!” I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
If you’re looking to work 2 hours a day, 3 days a week for about $1000 a week please contact me! We can look for it together.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.