Fresh Statuses

French people give me the crepes.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
#16604
JUSTIN A
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
#16603
Florida
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
#16602
Florida
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
#16601
JUSTIN A
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that's what the restraining order says.
#16600
User10273
The ruling on the field stands. Aaron Hernandez did not get both feet on the ground in time.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
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