Fresh Statuses

#13659
Cyberbilly
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt was shot dead by police in downtown Los Angeles, today. He was wanted for multiple counts of identity theft.
#13658
Cyberbilly
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
#13657
Cyberbilly
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.
#13655
Cyberbilly
I'm not sure what my spirit animal is, but I'm sure it has Rabies.
All I'm saying is if paper beats rock why are rocks used as paperweights?
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair.
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