Fresh Statuses

The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
Is it odd to anyone else that a telephone makes sound travel faster than the speed of sound?
In high school, I wasn't the class clown. I was the class trapeze artist, because I was always suspended.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they're born AND after they're dead.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.
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