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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Amigo
Cyberbilly
Cris
Novell
Dave Asten
Life is a marathon. That's why I'm carb loading.
I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."