Fresh Statuses

Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.
Robert Zunick
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
Robert Zunick
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say “Don’t get smart with me!”
Robert Zunick
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interested in swings from a pole and has daddy issues.
I'm currently watching the Spanish version of The Highlander. There can only be Juan!
I don't think I drink too much! but last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I take long showers in the morning. Not because I like them so much, but because I want to postpone starting the day as long as possible. If the hot water never ran out, I'd probably never go to work.
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