Fresh Statuses

If your name exceeds four syllables, I’m gonna just call you “hey”
It's been an exhausting day of pretending I'm a pleasant person.
The sign said 'Free Range Chickens'. So, I took three.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
I've burned my mouth while eating a slice of pizza so, yes, I do know what it's like when a loved one betrays you.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
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