Fresh Statuses

My wife and I found each other on a dating website, 3 years after we got married... That was awkward.
#12358
Novell
Marriage is like the IKEA of relationships. Easy to walk into, confusing to piece together and difficult to exit.
#12357
Novell
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
#12356
Novell
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door
#12355
Novell
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
Alicia Keys' "girl on fire" would make an awesome Vagisil commercial.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon".
If you can't say something nice about someone, you probably work at the same place I do.
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