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Robert Zunick
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play God with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
If zombies ever attack, go to Sam's Club. They have walls and years of food and supplies. Also, zombies can't get in without a membership.
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet
Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...