Fresh Statuses

Robert Zunick
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that’s just in case I find a cake.
Robert Zunick
In the 90s if a woman said “my eyes are up here” it was because a guy was staring at her chest Today it’s because he’s staring at his phone.
Robert Zunick
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
Robert Zunick
Am I the only one who thinks the Pringles guy and Monopoly guy are related?
Robert Zunick
I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I’m also deaf in one ear.
Robert Zunick
There is no “u” in awesome… But there is a “me”!
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
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