Fresh Statuses

I now own an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it.
For every cigarette you smoke, God takes an hour from your life and gives it to Keith Richards.
Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a butt across an airport; I'm sure they know it's NOT bacon
I can't get out of bed. These blanket have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust.
You've better look like your profile picture, .or you're buying me drinks until you do.
Sad news. The inventor of the snooze button has passed away. The funeral will be held at 8:00, 8:09, 8:18 and 8:27 am
Farts are like children. I'm proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
It's called fall because everything is falling,,, leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
Top Users
  • Xyuppi
  • Cyberbilly
  • Amigo
  • Novell
  • Robert Zunick

× Error! Your nomination was declined. You may only nominate 10 posts per hour!
× Success! Your nomination was accepted. The post will be considered for the Hall Of Fame!