Post Randomonium

Funny Facebook Statuses

Submit a status
Fresh Nominations...
Dave Asten
Robert Zunick
All the coffee beans in South America can't make me a morning person.
I don't lift so maybe I'm wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
I want to invent a vibrating tampon so a woman can be at her best while she is at her worst.
I wouldn't mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren't coming from my wife.
The last chapter of every book should just be all the characters acting terrified that their world is about to end.
I'll sell my broken watch when the time is right.
There's so much cleavage on Telemundo that my baby thinks it's The Food Network.