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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Fresh Nominations...
Dave Asten
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn't change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
I don't think it's a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
Possums have my favorite defense mechanism: “Meh, I’ll just lie here. Maybe they’ll go away.”
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?