Fresh Statuses

I'm paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said "That's how I want you to do it"
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water: number 1 and number 2
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.
I haven't seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he's OK.
Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon.
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
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