Fresh Statuses

I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that'd be great.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can't help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
How long have I been working here? Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Do you ever feel like a tampon? In a good place, just at the wrong time?
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