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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Amigo
Cyberbilly
Novell
Robert Zunick
Cris
If you don’t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn’t get your money’s worth.
I broke a mirror now I'm looking at 7 years bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me off with 3
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
The friend-zone is the only place that has more deflated balls than a patriots game.
They say your memory is the first thing to... something...
I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer