Fresh Statuses

The next time you're afraid to share an idea because you think it's stupid, remember that someone once suggested in a meeting that they make a movie about a tornado filled with sharks.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
It would be helpful to have the audience from “The Price is Right” around when I am making those critical life decisions.
Can we start calling walruses: Saber Tooth Seals?
Whenever you're feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you "fall asleep right now".
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