Fresh Statuses

Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
My least favorite part of working customer service is "customer."
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Getting back with an ex is like using the same piece of toilet paper twice...
"Taking candy from a baby" would actually be a responsible thing to do.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he's too old for it.
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