Fresh Statuses

"Send nudes, not nukes" is the "make love, not war" of this century
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever's password I'm using has got to be pissed!
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do dishes.
It's only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" become a hit reality show.
I had to call my dog long distance. Good thing I had rollover minutes!
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A solid 10, but also imaginary...
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
Hugh Hefner lived so long his first wife was named "Mildred" and his last one was named "Crystal."
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