Funny Status Ideas

Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
King: How many volunteers do we have for my evil army? Squire: 384 my liege K: Ok, round them up S: 400 my liege.
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.
This "Spring Forward" thing would be a lot more popular if we moved the clocks ahead at 2PM on Monday.
‪Don’t forget to turn your clock forward tonight to eliminate one hour of Trump’s Presidency. ‬
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I'm not good enough to have something fancy like that.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
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