Fresh Statuses

My "Kiss me, I'm Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
#16563
Xyuppi
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
#16562
PizzaDr
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left behind by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
I'd like to test the theory that money can't buy you happiness.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
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