Fresh Statuses

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
˙ʇuǝpıɔɔɐ ʎq pɹɐoqʎǝʞ uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uɐ ʇɥbnoq ı dןǝɥ
I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics on Facebook.
If I bought my balloon a 5 years ago for $1, how much could I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?
‪I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house. It was delicious. ‬
I really would like to take you to the movies. I will drop you off at 8 and pick you up at 10.
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