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Funny Facebook Statuses

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Fresh Nominations...
Cyberbilly
Amigo
Dave Asten
Michael Mendoza
Cris
Strangers: "Excuse me please." Family: "Hey move!" Best friends: "Get the f*** out of my way!"
Has anyone with explosive diarrhea ever thought "you know, this time I'll go with normal strength Imodium."
I'll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
Thank God I was young and stupid BEFORE there were camera phones.
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
The first rule of Vegan Club apparently is to tell everyone about Vegan Club.