Funny Status Ideas

I went to see a fat psychic the other day..... well it was actually a four chin teller.

‪Never trust a train...... they have Loco Motives. ‬

For 5 dollars you can either get your girl/guy a Valentine gift OR you can get them the Costco rotisserie chicken. That’s all I’m saying, the choice is yours

My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR.

‪Life is boring when you don’t have an online order to look forward to .

‪I set my alarm extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to get up.

‪I set my clock ahead to prevent being late but all it really did is sharpen my skills of subtraction. ‬