Funny Status Ideas

Dishwashing liquid...just money down the drain.

Want to meet eligible singles in your area? Then mill around the Valentines candy clearance isle.

Dragons are just wizard dinosaurs.

How the heck does my “aged 9 months” cheese go bad after a week in my fridge?

A shark eating a human thinking it’s a seal is the equivalent of a human eating a raisin cookie thinking it was chocolate chip.

I wish I had as much closet space as people in horror movies.

Just discovered that spilling hot coffee in your lap wakes you up a lot faster than drinking it!