Funny Status Ideas

Of course trees poop, where do you think #2 pencil come from?

I had the rudest, slowest, and nastiest cashier today. That's it! I'm done using the self-checkout lane.

I don't roll a joint everyday, but when I do, it's usually my ankle

My wife and I are very competitive. We laugh about it, but I laugh more.

Starting Tuesday, customers will now be required to unload the semi-trucks at WalMart. This will be in addition to your self-checkout duties.

A human fart is louder than a trombone. I discovered this at my son's school concert last night.

I learned to cook just so I had an excuse not to do dishes.