Funny Status Ideas

‪Don’t ever let someone tell you how many ounces of wine in a glass. You measure that shit with your heart.

North Korea is the world’s biggest and hardest escape room.

The least realistic part about the Magic School Bus is that a public school has a class with only 8 students.

One brick is good for attacking, but a lot of bricks are good for defending.

I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.

In addition to "most recent" or "top stories" I wish Facebook had a sort option for the "drama of the day"

Ever go to a 24 hour Walmart? By 2:00am it looks like the Cantina bar scene in Star Wars.