Funny Status Ideas

Whether you're a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.

If you need some help at Lowes and are being ignored, just get on one of their step ladders.

You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game? That's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.

My laptop crashed and now all my other devices have slowed down so they can see what's happening.

I got mood poisoning....must have been something I hate.

The best thing about dog is that you can act like something really good just happened and they’ll instantly start celebrating. They have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party.

I’m broke ! So when I said “call me if you need anything” I meant, prayer, support & hugs. You know, free stuff.