Funny Status Ideas

I am not turning my clock back on November 1st, I do not need another hour of 2020.

One of my daughters wants to marry the mailman, but I won’t letter!

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Amazon has been approved for drone delivery. We now have skeet shooting with prizes.

Feel bad for all the kids who probably won't be trick-or-treating this year, but just think of all the candy they'll be for 50% off the day after!

The first guy who heard a parrot talk was probably not ok for several days.

‪I just saw 9 homeless people giving each other flu shots under the overpass. What a caring community we live in. ‬