Funny Status Ideas

Due to inflation, you may now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 8.9 seconds.

I keep saying Alexa when I mean to say Siri and I just cant believe that I live in a time where i am getting my servant robots' names mixed up.

I’m getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand

O.J Simpson can now rest easy knowing his ex-wife's killer is dead.

I'm bored. I think I'll go to WalMart, find a great parking spot and sit in the truck with my reverse lights on for awhile.

Is it just me or do you think there's something terribly wrong with YouTube playing a 30 second commercial from their sponsor before watching a How to operate a fire extinguisher during an emergency video?

Not saying I’m old, but… When I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas