Funny Status Ideas

I wish I was in a gang. I never know what to do with my hands when taking pictures.

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck!

This Summer, live a little and drop an unwrapped Baby Ruth candy bar in someone’s swimming pool.

When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face, I get concerned about her disproportionate body shape...

It's ok if you fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.

I appreciate when employees label their food in the fridge so I know who to thank.

Thermometers are just speedometers for atoms.