Funny Statuses

#17843
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Xyuppi
Humans are 75% water, basically cucumbers with anxiety.
#17826
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Kristian Alekov
White Claw tastes like you are drinking TV static while someone screams the name of a fruit from another room.
#17838
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Xyuppi
I will be mailing out a W-2 on January 5th for everyone who was up in my business this year.
I don't want to party like it's 1999, I want to grocery shop like it is 1999.
People think I’m good at keeping secrets but the truth is I’m just bad at paying attention to what you told me.
I found $20 laying in the parking lot and thought to myself “What would Jesus do?” So, I turned it into wine.
#17842
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Xyuppi
The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen.
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