Funny Status Ideas

I thought the internet was originally created to save time. So what happened?
Why the heck do underwear and socks come in resealable bags but potato chips don’t?
#17196
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Xyuppi
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't flick your friends out the car window
#17195
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Xyuppi
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
Going back to the gym is a lot like being born. I know it needs to happen and I can’t stay home forever, but I’m still gonna cry about it.
They shouldn't have named it a baggage carousel if they didn't want me to ride it.
#17192
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Xyuppi
Both teams at the Superbowl were playing like they know whoever wins goes to The White House.
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