Funny Status Ideas

Remember when the air at gas stations for your tires was free? Good times, good years.

Leprechauns are just Santa's elves who got fired from the workshop for drinking on the job.

Every McDonald's should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is broken.

The clock in my car is right again... a victory for procrastination.

At the age of 91 we discovered two lumps in grandma's breast, we were so relieved the doctors discovered it was just her knees.

I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids. When I got home, they were still there.

Of all the things that taste like chicken, it's weird that eggs are not one of them.