Funny Status Ideas

Kenny Rogers checking out during an apocalypse is the biggest knowing when to Hold'em knowing when to Fold'em I've ever seen.

I went to the bank today. I saw a man with a mask and gloves come in and thank God he was just there to rob the bank.

I’m about 1 week away from being friends with a volleyball.

To go to the grocery store, they said a mask and some gloves would be fine. They lied! Everyone else had on clothes!

We are about three weeks away from knowing everyone’s true hair color.

Today's drink: The Quarantini. It's a regular martini, but you drink it alone in your house.

I hadn’t planned on giving this much up for Lent!