Funny Status Ideas

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
#17318
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Xyuppi
‪I’ve done terrible things for money. Like getting up early to go to work. ‬
Slapping one side of someone’s hand is a punishment. Slapping the other side is a reward.
#17316
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Xyuppi
Two touchdowns for the US Women's team...too bad they missed that second extra point
How to cook the perfect amount of spaghetti: Step 1. Remove from box how much you think you need. Step 2. Eliminate half the amount you thought you needed. Step 3. Invite a friend over for spaghetti if you want to skip step 2
#17314
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Florida
I really need to buy a new toaster. Mine has only two settings: "is it even on?" and "Viking Funeral".
Clapping is literally just slapping yourself because you like something .
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