Funny Status Ideas

I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes. The doctor says it's terminal.

‪If I use my stimulus money to buy baby chickens, does this mean we got money for nothing and chicks for free? ‬

If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you probably still are.

If you want to impress me with your car, it had better be a food truck.

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today, and nextday.

‪I love getting cute morning texts like “your order has been shipped“‬

Kim Jon Un is the type of leader to fake his death then punish everyone that celebrated.