Funny Status Ideas

If this guy making my sandwich goes as a sloth for Halloween I guarantee he will nail it.

Based on US obesity rates, people will soon walk for president.

Starbucks isn't really that expensive compared to how much Victoria's Secret charges per cup.

I can hear music coming from my printer at work. I think the paper's jammin' again.

The only math I'm good at is adding insult to injury.

If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your 3 year-old and tell them it's Santa.

If your hands don’t look like you just delivered a baby after eating ribs, you just didn't eat them right.